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by SS Jujhar Singh, Birmingham, UK 
~as shared in the 2024 (Third Quarter) SDI Ministry newsletter

Serving without Judgement

The times are tough: our families, communities, societies appear more polarized than ever. When one is out there trying to be the Guru’s conduit, it is very difficult to stay neutral and come from a place of non-judgement. Where there is judgement there is Ego and by definition where there is the self there is no self-less service (Seva).

Recently when I’ve been trying to serve and bring communities together, I’ve been really tested with some (seemingly) extreme views. There are those who have walked away from the Dharma and those who are going a bit (too) hard. It makes me question my own position on things; seeding doubt, duality, fear and judgement of others. My natural proclivity is to put both sides in a box and label it as “nutter” or “coward” and then walk away. But that serves nobody—especially not me.

How do we come to a place of neutrality so that we can truly serve and live up to the title of Guru’s Minister? Well . . . the full answer to that is both simple and complex. I won’t even try to offer a comprehensive guide.

What I do offer here are some concepts that help me to step out of my own Ego and into a more appropriate mindset:

1. We can only know the Guru if the Guru allows it.
2. Remember God in whichever way, even back to front.
3. “There but for the grace of God go I”

We Can Only Know the Guru if the Guru Allows It

There’s a shabd written by Guru Ram Das Sahib in Rehiras Sahib that really helps me to process when people leave the Dharma.

We think that we’re the ones who are connecting to the Guru, when the reality is that it’s Guru who initiates, pauses and re-initiates the relationship. Maybe it’s part of somebody’s Guru-ordained journey to leave so they can experience a separation that will serve to deepen their re-connection at some point.

“You are the river of life; all are within You.”

Aasaa mehalaa 4 ||

Thoon karataa sachiaar; maiddaa saaee ||

You are the True Creator, my Lord and Master.

Jo tho bhaavai soee thheesee;  jo thoon dhaehi soee ho paaee||1||rahaao ||

Whatever pleases You comes to pass. As You give, so do we receive.||1|| Absorb ||

Sabh  thaeree; thoon sabhanee dhhiaaeiaa ||

All belong to You; all meditate on You.

Jis no kirapaa karehi; thin naam ratan paaeiaa ||

Those who are blessed with Your Mercy obtain the Jewel of the Naam, the Name of the Lord.

Gurmukh laadhaa, manamukh gavaaeiaa ||

The Gurmukhs obtain it, and the self-willed manmukhs lose it.

Thudhh aap vishhorriaa, aap milaaeiaa ||1||

You Yourself separate from Yourself, and You Yourself reunite again.||1||

Thoon dhareeaao, sabh thujh hee maahi ||

You are the river of life; all are within You.

Thujh bin dhoojaa, koee naahi ||

There is no one except You.

Jeea janth, sabh taeraa khael ||

All living beings are Your playthings.

Vijog mil vishurriaa, sanjogee mael  ||2||

The separated ones meet, and by great good fortune, those suffering in separation are reunited once again.  ||2||

~ Siri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 11

Remember God in Whichever Way, Even Back to Front

I was 19 years old when Guru grabbed me from my Sunday/Sikh lifestyle into His warm embrace. As a “newly minted” Sikh I was quite a hothead, as you can imagine.

I used to hang around with this elder Gurmukh and he took me under his wing. We would go from house to house serving those that had some mental health issues, by holding some pretty profound healing meditation sessions with them. My job was to chant Mool Mantra out loud to hold the space while he would go into deep meditation and try to diagnose and heal some of the underlying issues. (Think Sat Naam Rasayan.)

I remember this particular case that we had with a Punjabi auntie in my home city. She was suffering a lot with all sorts of issues that I cannot divulge. Before our session the Gurmukh would often sit with the person and counsel them, often letting them talk about their pain and issues. He was always neutral, patient, kind and understanding—the epitome of a Gurmukh. As part of these counselling sessions this auntie would “go off on one.” She would start talking about how angry she was with God, and how God had let her down and how stupid and cruel God was . . . She would go on for almost an hour and he would just sit there smiling and sincerely acknowledging her pain. I would  be sitting there fuming, ready to tell her how wrong she was and how she was blaspheming, but I followed his example and thankfully kept my mouth shut.

One day after the session, in the car journey back I asked him “Why do you let her go on like that? She’s wrong and it’s sinful to speak like that.” He simply smiled back at me and said that it doesn’t matter.  The main thing is that she’s still acknowledging God and that God is important enough to her that she is willing to argue it out with Him; it’s still a form of Simran (remembrance). Any connection is a good connection. Don’t discourage it.

Bhai Gurdas Ji’s Kabit Swaiye:

charan sarani gur ayk paidaa jaai chala, satigur koti paidaa aagay hoi layt hai |

If you take but one step towards the Guru, the Guru advances by one hundred thousand steps towards you.

“There but for the grace of God go I”

There is a line in Guru Granth Sahib Ji by Bhagat Kabeer that tells us to be sympathetic towards others’ conditions in life and not be in our own ego.  When my ego is in ascendance I find that this line really helps to cut through my nonsense and get to a place of non-judgement.

Salok Bhagat Kabir Jio Ke

Kabeer; garab n keejeeai, rank n haseeai koe ||

Kabeer, don’t be in your ego, don’t laugh at others less fortunate than you.

Ajahu s naao samundhr meh,  kiaa jaano kia hoe ||39||

Your boat is still out at sea.  Who knows what will happen? ||39||

~ Siri Guru Granth Sahib Ji, Ang 1366 

SS Jujhar Singh, a UK-born Sikh of Punjabi heritage, is a software engineer by profession with a deep passion for sharing Sikh heritage, technology, and his experiences with others. For the past 23 years, he has traveled the world, engaging with children and young adults at camps, workshops, and retreats, where he imparts knowledge and wisdom. Jujhar’s journey has been enriched by his involvement with various Sikh traditions, including Damdami Taksaal, Nihang Panth, Nanaksari, GNNSJ, Namdhari, and Western Sikh Dharma, which contribute to his diverse and passionate perspective on the Guru. Jujhar is devoted to his family, including his beloved wife, Dr. Harsimrren Kaur, and their children.