Turning Loneliness to Oneness


The subject I am going to touch today in the religious realms of Sikh Dharma is called “loneliness.” And I hope that you will gain from it.

When you challenge the natural phenomena of life, you create duality and chaos, and the outcome of duality and chaos is misery, pain, disease and nonsense. Even being a yogi, when I tolerate insult in the name of compassion, my physical body does not take it right. Mentally it is okay, because mentally I can understand that it is the process of life I have to go through to keep people going towards their spiritual surge. But when an insult is hurled at you, the physical body reacts automatically through its glandular system, through its psyche, and creates problems.

Loneliness is a very acceptable state of consciousness in Sikh Dharma. Sikh Dharma actually starts from one word: “Ik”—the One. There is not two, and One is always lonely. If you put a zero with one, it makes ten. If you add one to another one, it makes eleven. If you put two with it, it is twelve. If you put three with it, it is thirteen.

The purpose of life is for you to reach a state of consciousness when there is no peer group, period. Only then can you become a giver. Before that you are in a business of give and take. But when you give and give and give and, for the sake of living, you live, then you have to have no peer group. Then you become “Ik”—the One. One is very lonely. It has its own beginning; it has its own end, and its own process. That’s why Guru Nanak described Ik: Aad sach, jugaad sach, haibhee sach, Naanak hose bhee sach. What will it be? Ik. That One.

You are all afraid to become lonely, you are scared to become lonely. You do not know what to do with your loneliness because you do not know how to give. Give you loneliness, that oneness, that ecstasy, that state of higher consciousness. When you do not even have a peer group, nobody can match you, nobody can reach you, nobody can understand you, nobody can know you, then you become heaven, heaven becomes you, earth has nothing to do with you, and then you are really in pain. Tears flow from you like water because you say, “What am I doing here?” I don’t know what you are doing. All you have to do is uplift other people, share the oneness of that ecstasy of consciousness, chare that loneliness, and let people know it is good to be lonely because lonely has three things in it: purity, infinity and grace (ecstasy). When these ingredients get together and amalgamate with each other, one becomes lonely. One becomes One. Are there two Gods? One God which produces ladies, the other produces men? And one God which produces animals and another produces trees? We say it with great pride, “There is but One God!” If there is but One God, then there is but one you, there is but one me. “I am, I am,” then who do you want to be friends with?

I am not saying that you should not relate to people and be nice to them and serve them and not play with them. Loneliness means being in a state of consciousness where you see everybody as you. That oneness, that loneliness, is a state of consciousness when you do not see anyone other than you—one focus, one picture, one meditation, one consciousness, one feeling, one emotion.

People say, “What should I do with my feelings?” Have them. Because shashara releases thoughts and thoughts become emotions and feelings. But, that’s fine. To have emotions and feelings is perfect. There’s nothing wrong with it. What’s wrong is when every feeling and every emotion becomes neurosis and commotion. Rather every feeling, every emotion should be put to the test through intelligence and consciousness. These two things are okay. The other two you don’t want to do. Homework you don’t want to do, and yet you want to enjoy life. Now tell me, if you do not survey where you are going, which road are you going to take, which freeway will you take, which lane will you take? If you do not take enough gas in your car, enough food, enough money, how can you get to the destination? And just as an ordinary destination is part of daily life, in the travel of the soul, we call it “destiny.” In the travel of a man, we call it destination. There’s no difference. And everybody goes alone. Even that driver who has six passengers in the car is alone and is the driver by designation. Designation, distance, destiny; it’s the same thing. You are designated as a human being for the destiny to become One. It is a very long, lonely road. Nobody else can travel on it with you, match up with you, understand you, or be with you, because you are very specially made by the One in the image of One’s own self. For convenience you call it “God.”

“God” is a convenient word. Just to express the known and the unknown together in the living self, three things must meet: known, unknown, and you. That is God. G-O-D. Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh. The Creator, Sustainer, and Destroyer. Three powers must meet together to create the word “God.” And there is but one God. Totally lonely. Have you ever understood? God, God, you all talk about—when you merge in God, God is very lonely because there are no two Gods. He even cannot go bowling. What can He do? He has nobody. Nobody can judge Him, no one can understand Him, nobody can know Him, because He is beyond, beyond, beyond.

Nit, Nit, Nit, Namo, Namo, Namo—No, No, No, I bow, I bow, I bow. Because God is not his, God is not that, God is just God. Parapaarabraham,paramesheram. That is beyond the beyond, that creative self or the total self in destiny and dignity and insanity and sane self, and wrong and right and plus and minus, beauty and ugliness and thief and saint, are all just saying one thing. Lots of thieves, few saints. It is a comparative study.

You do not know you are unique. You are One. The Oneness in you, you have not found. That’s why people take everything away from you. That’s why you want sociability, and society, and relations. How bizarre and berserk these relationships are, and you all want it because the one relationship you need with One has not been established. You don’t understand Sikh Dharma at all. Sikh Dharma started with that lonely one word: One. Ik Ong Kar. There is but One Creator of the entire creation, therefore you cannot say anything. It means, “shut up.” It’s very simple. When you have to say nothing, do nothing, be nothing, then you know what you are?

You are a lighthouse, so nobody else can wreck near you. That is the one thing in life you have to do. Spread the light. Be the lighthouse. So every journey, every destiny, every distance will be safe.

No, no, you don’t do that. You are fishers, fishermen. You go out, make-up, look pretty, to do what? To excite feelings in another person, commotions. And when you speak, you put the hook on a line so that you can trap another person, and you play this game, trapping and catching and fishing and in the end, you say you are not selfish. You fish all day, every word, every movement, everything. All this energy, pranic energy:

Pavan guru paanee pita maataa dharat mahat.
Divas raat doeh daa-ee daa-ee-aa khelai sagal jugat.

Air is the Guru, water the father, earth the great mother. Day and night are two male and female nurses in whose lap the entire world plays—Shalok of Japji Sahib, Guru Nanak Dev Ji. And this entire play of the day, you play just fishing at each other and trying to do in and out do, and I am beautiful, I am not, I am good, I am bad, and I am emotional, I am commotional. You don’t talk about Oneness, and you say you are human? “Hu(e)” means the power of light. You are blinded by this power of light because you are blind when the light shines on you. You are blind. You don’t see a thing.

You have to understand this concept of Oneness, this loneliness, this niaraa Guru Gobind Singh says is the same thing. Guru Nanak said “Ik Ong Kar.” And Guru Gobind Singh said very clearly and openly:

Jab lag Khalsa rahe niaaraa
Tab lag tej deeo mai(n) saaraa.
Jab eh gahai bipara kee reet
Mai(n) na karo(n) in kee parteet.

I will give divine radiance to the Khalsa who will live as distinct.

If they live according to Brahmin rituals, I won’t believe them.

—Guru Gobind Sigh, Sarab Loh Granth

A simple declaration. So long as the pure one will remain exclusively One, niaaraa, there’s no equal. Niaaraa—there’s no creativity but the One. The most exclusive One which has no equal. Purity is not enough. Khalsa means purity. Jab lag Khalsa rahe niaaraa—when you are exclusively One, tab lag tej deeo mai(n)saaraa—I shall give all the power of light and life. Jab eh gahai biparan kee reet—When you are in duality, mai(n) na karo(n) in kee parteet—you shall have no satisfaction.

What is pain? You don’t have satisfaction. How can you have satisfaction when you do not accept loneliness is the highest state of consciousness? What happens to you in an ecstasy? You want to go up, up, up. You want to go more, more, more. You want to go higher, higher, higher. When you reach the top of all, you become One. Lonely. Exclusive. You asked for it, you work for it, you do it. And then you cry? What kind of people are you?

You want to be great, but you do not know that greatness is that One exclusiveness. You all want to compete. What is hard in competition? Compete. Eliminate everybody. In the end, you’ll become One. Then you do not know how to handle it. You miss the handle of that Oneness. Oneness has a state of consciousness. What is that state of consciousness? Guru describes it: Sat Nam, Kartaa Purkh. True becomes your identity, and Kartaa purkh—you become a being who does all. Nirbhao Nirvair—you become fearless and revengeless. Revenge is only when somebody else is in competition. When you have gone above competition, and eliminat4ed everybody, you have reached the state of exclusiveness, then there’s no vengeance. Akaal moorat—then you become the very picture of God, the very image of God. Ajoonee, Saibhung. Ajoonee—then you don’t come and go, you become by yourself.Saibhung—by your own creativity, totality. Saibhung means your own creative totality. Saibhung means you can become a total being. How can this be achieved? Gurprasaad—with the Guru’s blessing. That’s exclusive. Touch of the teacher, they call it. There’s nothing more precious on this planet than the touch of the teacher. Guru waahinaa, narak naa jaae—One who doesn’t have a teacher cannot even go to hell. Je so chandaa ogaveh sooraj chareh hazaar. Ete chaana hodiaa(n) gur bin gor andhaar—there may be hundreds and thousands of moons and millions of suns, with all that light, without the Guru, there is darkness—Guru Angad Dev Ji. Because in that exclusive Oneness, the loneliness, the One within you is awakened and within you is that infinite teacher that’s called “the soul.”

That’s what the word “soul-mate” means. Soul-mate doesn’t mean taking a girl to bed after dinner and just saying the next morning, “Last night I met my soul-mate.” Sometimes people use these words, it gives me a shock. It sends me the goose-bumps. I can’t believe it. This man is using this word, for what? But I tell you what to do. Your life is very temporary. You just enjoy little here, little there, you are little people. Short terms benefits, permanent losses. Things have to be done, counted for, looked and planned before. Before what? Before death.

Death is going home and everything should be counted, taken care of. We all have to go to the One. One is in the beginning, One is the now, and One is the end. Those of you who are sitting here do not understand: the beginning and end are the same. You are not humans. You do not know what the reality of life is. The beauty of life is now, beginning, and end are the same. That is called living. That is called loving. And that is called being. Being now. Because the beginning and end are lonely. When you are born, you are alone. You get help. Mother is help. Natural nurse, they call it. And she is there as a supply of food right there. Nurturing and nursing are two processes of life which your soul also needs. And Guru’s shabd is the food of the soul. That’s why we do kirtan, to feed the soul. This morning, when you were chanting the Narayan Shabd, I was listening and I said, “They do not know how beautiful and blessed these people are. They are one of a kind.” And I said, “I’ll speak to them today on the One, because it is the beginning of Sikh Dharma.” And honestly, each one of you wants to become one of a kind. That’s God. That’s divine. That’s the American way of life. That’s competition. That’s beating out everybody and going as One. That’s very lonely. That’s the way it was, that’s the way it is and that’s the way it will be.

Loneliness does not mean that you can’t share with others. It is only the lonely who share with all. Nanak naam cherdi kalaa—once in Nanak, by the grace of God, you get to reach the state of ecstasy, until ecstasy and loneliness and you become One, sarbat ka bala—then you which good for all. He’s the one who knows what the price of sociability is. Loneliness is a state of accepted righteous consciousness which is achieved by saints. When you become lonely and you do not love yourself, then you’ll have tears, you’ll have pain, and you’ll have cramps: cramps of social indignity, of social ugliness, mental cramps, and then you get physical problems. Because the state of Oneness and the state of ugliness, and the state of beauty, and the state of ecstasy, state of joy, of richness, purity and poverty are all comparative states. It does not reach the uniqueness of the loneliness of the Oneness of the One, the highest of all.
You know what happens? Unconsciously you all reach for Oneness. Consciously you all deny it. That’s why you lie all the time. That’s why you are earthlings. You all unconsciously yearn to become One with the One. There are people who want to be rich. There are people want the whole community to be rich. There are people who want the Guru’s name to be rich. Three types of people you’ll find in every walk of life: those who’ll be rich with themselves and shall die very poor; those who will make the entire community rich and will die in Grace; and those who’ll reach for the Guru’s hand and Guru’s flag and carry it. They’ll die not only rich but remembered rich. That’s the one richness which shall live forever. There are many riches. On the tomb of the saint, people come to do offering. That’s the difference, and that is the total difference. When a saint dies in the physical, he lives in Infinity. When a man or emperor or king dies in the physical, he is dead. That is the difference of the “One” concept which you should practice. Unconscious power, unknown power, unseen power is called “God.” Conscious power, known power, and presentness is called “being.” It’s called “light.” Because only in light can you see. In darkness all is one. So basically, in every reality, unconsciously, you are all going toward the One. But some of you, somewhere, get that experience with the touch of the teacher, blessing of the Guru, and then you do not know how to handle it.

You know, you are all very funny, Americans. You all want to make love. Have love. Fools, there is no such thing as “making love,” “having love,” and all that. It is all an exercise. People fall in love and they fall in love unconsciously. When you fall in love you call it “love at first sight.” And it will give you pain the rest of your life. There’s no way to get out of it. You understand? And if you don’t want that pain, then don’t fall in love. Do you hear me? Then do one thing, put blinders on your eyes, put plugs in your ears and stitch your mouth. Say nothing, see nothing, do nothing, because God knows when you are going to say something, what you are going to hear, what you are going to see and fall in love. And once you fall in love, the= rest is nothing but pain because then the unconscious wants to merge and the consciousness doesn’t know what to do with it. Call me. I know the trick, because it happened to me. I fell in love with Guru Ram Das and I know how I worked out. It took away from me my identity, it took my reality, it took away my me. And I know the pain. But you know, I didn’t care.

Reality of life is that there is no reality. Personality of life is how to offer it. What you have to offer in the last, by the clang of death, why not give it up yourself? Why not die when you are alive? The English word for being dead while alive is compassion. Compassion is a state of recognizing the state of conscious and unconscious non-identity of every identity. And this compassionate state is described in the mool mantra: nirbhao, nirvair—you have no fear, and you have no vengeance.
So please remember, the state of compassion is when you do not recognize any other identity other than you. Therefore, when you do not recognize and other identity other than you, you will have no fear, you’ll have no vengeance, because you’ll be alone. Loneliness, the Oneness, is the ultimate reality of all times and all ingredients. All tattvas merge to be One. I urge you to create a surge to merge with the lonely being called God. If God would not have been lonely, all these souls… you know why God created the earth? Why God created the planets? Why God created the universe? Why God created the cosmos? He was so lonely and He wanted to feel whether he was lonely or not, so He split himself. That’s why every soul wants to go back to that Oneness. Unconsciously, they are programmed to it.

You can learn it from your spermatozoa. Now, you are all into sex. Nobody can deny that. Sex is the sixth sense. You never value it that way. But anyway, when a physical value of sex is a great achievement, then just see how the spermatozoa know on which side the egg is. Have you ever seen spermatozoa coming out of a female? If the spermatozoa know where to go, why don’t you? And Guru Arjan Dev says it: Beej mantra sarb ko giaan—your very seed has the entire knowledge where to go.

Spermatozoa know their destiny and destination is that egg. Then they crawl to make it. Millions start it, one makes it. It is called pregnancy. Then that mother, the womb carries it. And delivers it. It is called delivery. Then nurses it, and nurtures it with its own blood, its own vibration. It is called growth. Where else do you want to go to learn when your very birth and your conception and your delivery and your nurturing is based on one unique experience? That all things come from God and all things go to God. All have all the knowledge. And that knowledge is in the very seed of you. Every seed is the very tree itself. Unseen part is the tree, seen part is that little seed itself. Each human is God in itself. Unseen part is the compassion and seen part is the passion. Passion and compassion have the inter-related transfer state of coexistence. But when passion and compassion are merged, God is experienced.

© 1987 YB Teachings, LLC

Copyright: Yogi Bhajan Teachings

Post navigation